Begin in hopefulness, for we have reached the turning point at which the road becomes far easier. And now the way is short that yet we travel. We are close indeed to the appointed ending of the dream.
Very glad to hear that.
At any rate, I have a dear friend who has tried to study ACIM and not gotten too far; she has asked me on more than one occasion why I would want to believe that the universe is an illusion. What's the point? she asks. How on earth could believing that help?
So now that we're here at the beginning of a new year, the second year of my journey with ACIM, I figure it's as good a time as any to think about what I feel like the Course has brought me so far. Other than a sure-fire way to make other people think that I'm nuts, that is!
1. I've been able to let God off the hook for the insanity of this world. I have never been able to understand why the world was so crazy; why we chose to create a world where so many people are hurt; why so many are hurt by disasters and disease. ACIM says "Yes, the world is crazy. It's a crazy, bad dream where although good things appear to happen and beauty still lives, you believe you can die." I always had a hard time reconciling the world as it is and the idea that God had created it (although I never thought it was utterly random; I've been a theist pretty much all my life), especially once the idea of hell and eternal judgement was thrown in. God being love and God being creator of this crazy, mixed up world didn't seem to be able to add up for me on any count.
2. I've found a way to manage hatred and anger like I almost couldn't imagine was possible. I received a challenge a few years ago, with the group I was with, to love George W. Bush. Love him? I thought. Impossible! He's brought war, he's a greedy bastard, he steps all over innocent people for fun. How could I love that? But now...well, I won't say that I like what he did. But I don't feel the animosity that I once did. It's just gone. Some sadness still lingers. But the hot, easy-to-stir-up anger is gone. I still struggle with this from time to time, but when I do, I'm faster now at recognizing that those feelings are just showing me another opportunity to forgive.
3. I just don't sweat the small stuff as much. I used to worry. A lot. Climate change. Would the economy collapse, and take down civilization with it? Would I get sick? Would my kid? I worried about car accidents and all manner of things. I haven't conquered this one, but my anxiety level has certainly fallen. That feels like a kind of miracle too.
4. I have a secret source of joy. This kind of goes along with the last one, I suppose. Smiles are easier to come by; my smile lines have deepened noticeably in the last year. Partly my age, probably, but I think it reflects that I smile and laugh more than I once did.
I'm sure there are more, but this is a start. Happy 2010! May it be a year of growth, of connection, and of much joy.
